| New! Direct link to order your personal growth books from Amazon!
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Whether you are in therapy or not, life is a journey of learning and growth.
With that in mind, Becky has prepared a list of books that she has read and recommends as tools that can assist in your personal and relational growth. For your convenience we have created quick links to Amazon so you can find the books, new and used, at a wide variety of prices. Underneath the links below, you'll find Becky's comments about each book. Enjoy!
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Dr. Becky's Book and DVD Store
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(Where only books she recommends are for sale!)
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Today's Featured Book --
"Should I Stay or Go?"
by Lee Raffel, creator of the concept of Controlled Separation
Dr. Becky's dissertation research was about how individuals decide to divorce, and from that work she created the concept of Managed Separation,
a way of saving marriages that otherwise would certainly have ended. As
she researched the concept of managing separations to save marriages,
she found that other Marriage & family Therapists in the US were
working with a similar idea referred to as Controlled Separation. Lee Raffel is the brainchild of Controlled Separation and has years of experience and success with the concept. She has written the only book on the subject, but stay tuned for mine, "Managed Separation."
"Those who think they may be interested in a Managed Separation should read the book,
Should I Stay or Go? by
Lee Raffel. It has influenced my work, and it's very informative and
will help couples understand what Managed Separation is about." – Becky Whetstone
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| Comment on the Disease to Please by Dr. Becky: This "disease" is an epidemic ... I see it every day in my office. Ask yourself, are you afraid to let others know what you really think because you want everyone to like or approve of you? Do you let others lead the way, rarely speaking up for what you want? Do you use passive aggressive ways to get your way? Underneath it all, are you angry because it seems like you never get to do what you want to do? If so, order this book -- you'll be amazed. It's also helpful for partners of pleasers to understand what's going on. No More Mr. Nice Guy is about the same psychological concept of pleasing, but is written by a former pleaser as a guide for men only. Fascinating -- my male client pleasers highly recommend this book. See more comments below, and happy reading!
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Best Case Scenarios For Families that
Decide to Divorce
It's a reality that some of the families I work with have to face. If you're one of those families, please read these two books, both of which will certainly motivate you to do all you can to make a difficult transition cause as little damage as possible. Yes, it's going to be tough, but you can do it mindfully. These books will tell you how.
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Understand How Relationships Die
Many men and women who experience a relationship break up become hungry to learn more about how it happened -- the main reason why is because no one wants to go through that type of pain again!! The work in these two books profoundly changed the way I thought about and understood relationships. If you want understanding about how relationships become sick and then die, then read "Uncoupling." If you want to know about the stats and predictable human behaviors of separation and splitting up, read, "Splitting Up." "Splitting Up" was written for academics, so it very dry, but still it is readable and filled with useful information.
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| The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck is a great place to start your journey of growth. |
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Dr. B’s Recommended Reading List
(Many of these are available on the cheap through Amazon used books or other half price book stores. If you don’t enjoy reading, consider the CD or cassette versions.)
Note: I am always finding books to read that add to my knowledge and cause me to think and consider life's possibilities. The following books are on my shelves, and are favorites. In addition to these, I have hundreds more that have contributed to my life. I recommend that you also become a voracious reader of books that have the potential to contribute to your personal growth. Grow your library!! As for me, I always have a book stuffed in my car or purse so that if I ever have to wait anywhere, I can use the moment to learn something new. See you at the bookstore! Dr. Becky Whetstone
Basic Understanding of Emotional Health & Life, etc.
The Road Less Traveled
C. Scott Peck
Available at most half price/discount bookstores. Written in the 1970’s, but still a great, great place to start your quest for personal growth. This is THE BOOK I recommend to every person and client I know. Peck was a psychiatrist and spiritual man, and combines the best of the two in this well-known work. I scan this book every six months or so to remind me of its great wisdom - it has changed the life of millions of Americans, including my own.
Love is Letting Go of Fear
Gerald Jamplosky
Available at most half price/discount bookstores. A 100-page gold mine of information on how to live lovingly and joyfully. Based on the difficult to understand, “Course in Miracles,” a spiritually and Biblically based analysis (for lack of a better word) of how to have healthy mental health and live an abundant life. A very good book for religious and non-religious readers.
The Power of Now
Eckhardt Tolle
Just get it. A dry read, and rather deep. A great way to live.
The Four Agreements
Miguel Ruiz
Short, sweet, and insightful. Can change your life.
Healing the Child Within
Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Excellent book for healing and insight into why we are the way we are, and what to do about it so you may
lead a healthy life. Highly recommended. 140 powerful pages.
Subconscious Mind-Related Books
The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., D.D.
Available at most book stores. This book is easy to read and explains how powerful your brain and your thoughts are. It will show you how you absolutely cannot afford negative thoughts or visuals. Life changing. Highly recommended.
The Secret
Rhonda Byrne
Oprah's done at least two shows on it and says the reason her life is so great is that she abides by its principles. People are talking about it everywhere. Enjoyable, easy-to-read book that discusses the Law of Attraction. A concept that is changing many lives.
Improve Your Marriage or Relationship
Fighting for Your Marriage
Howard Markman
Scott Stanley
Susan L. Blumberg
Based on the PREP program – Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program that is seen in workshops nation wide.
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John M. Gottman, Ph.D.
Written by the marital research guru.
Dealing With an Extramarital Affair
After the Affair
Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.
This is the best book I know that helps a person heal the pain and rebuild trust after a partner has been unfaithful. I've attended workshops that this author has facilitated; she was inspired to study the subject after her own spouse had an affair. Extremely helpful.
Unhappily Marrieds/Considering Divorce
Uncoupling
Diane Vaughan
Old as the hills. (1986) Order it used off of Amazon. A book I used in my dissertation, and best and most expressively explains the process of how a couple “uncouples.” If you feel your relationship is coming apart, this will be helpful to understanding what you’re going through. ISBN:0-19-503910-6
Individuals who are Separating or Divorcing
Rebuilding (when your relationship ends)
Bruce Fisher, Ed.D.
This book (and the workbook) provide a 10-step process to understand and recover from the loss of a relationship, especially due to divorce. It will make the process easier if you follow it. Also, check the Internet for Rebuilding Seminars available near you.
Splitting Up
Pam Pearson
Written for academics, it’s kind of difficult to wade through, but if you have recently gone through a split you will devour Pearson’s detailing of the process of breaking apart. Fascinating and enlightening, and almost psychically tells you what you and have your spouse have been thinking as you go through the process.
ISBN: 1-57230-367-0
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